this wedding is going to cost me heaps of money. which goes back to the whole, i need to start saving bit. i can't just go gallavanting anymore, spending 2 dollars when i only make a buck. a great example of this was when i recently bought myself an iPod Touch. this of course was an impulse buy. i had a crappy day at work, and unfortunately for me, i wanted an iTouch, so literally after this crappy shift, i went to buy myself it. the thing cost me a small fortune, and unfortunately, it wasn't compatible with my computer...to the point where my computer crashed. now, this is really shitty, because the small fortune that i paid for the bloody iPod is going to be, in the end, a large fortune, because now i'll have to buy a new computer. lesson learned. impulse buying is never wise. but because i'm proud, i'm not going to be 'ooopsit aboot mah paeerchase'.

starting to feel 'lonely' around this holiday season...yes, it was expected, but i think what triggered it was a crappy movie i saw with the guys yesterday - 'Four Christmases'. the premise of this movie was centered around love and family...it was still a crappy movie, but something in it triggered the lonely bug inside of me. i've been single for a little while now, and although i get's me the 'basics', that doesn't make me feel better emotionally..

it's funny, i think i can get used to this whole 'not having expectations' bit. something happened the other day, in which normally i would hope for something to happen, and it didn't, where the end result would be me feeling like shit and disappointed. but this time, i didn't hold those same expectations, and of course things didn't follow through as planned, but i felt indifferent. i appreciate follow-through, but if follow through happens now, i look at it (whatever it may be) as a bonus. i suppose it's good and bad at the same time.